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He Said/She Said, Part IX
"Will The Real All-Star Band Please Stand Up"?
a.k.a. "The Detour Tour"
By Bonnie Borgh (with a little help from her friends):
Cindy Bryant, Kimmi Janvrin and Shane Worden

Photo by Janet Litterio

Bonnie: Believe it or not, it's been a while since I participated in a "He Said/She Said" documentary. In fact, I arbitrarily selected a vintage Purple Flower Gang (PFG) newsletter, (Issue #45, He Said/She Said--The Next Generation) to familiarize myself with the format. Of course, I had to re-read bits and pieces of the article. It brought back such wonderful memories of David's appearances at "The Lady Luck", (now "Isle Of Capri"), in Bettendorf, Iowa on September 24-25, 1999. That was then, this is now.

Shane: I couldn't agree more. It has been way too long since we've had a chance to share one of our adventures with our reading public, but here we full force...and ready to go. I hope all of you enjoy reading these stories as much as we enjoy writing them. Always keep in mind that the old saying about the journey being the reward absolutely applies here. Now more than ever!

Cindy: It was great to have Bonnie on the road with us once again! If only Colleen had come along for the ride …but she had other obligations. I hope you all enjoy reading these as much as we do writing them. We have found this is a great way to preserve our memories, not just of the shows but of the craziness that ensues when we are all together. You’re right, Shane! It is not the destination but the journey that matters.

Bonnie: Being the initial contributor documenting this adventure, I am afforded the opportunity to re-inact the events whilst my fellow travel companions, (Cindy, Kimmi and Shane), offer their two cents. Perhaps as much fun as the actual close encounter is the "before and after". For all impractical purposes, the following accounts are recorded as gospel according to Cindy, Kimmi, Shane and I (very sort of like Matthew, Mark, Luke and John).

Shane: Always hoped that I'd be an apostle; knew that I would make it if I tried....

Cindy: What’s that in the bread? It’s gone to your head…

Bonnie: Or was that John, Paul, George and Ringo? Imagine that! Wrong group. Shane was scheduled to arrive in the Quad Cities late on Thursday, October 31. (I'm sorry you had to miss the Halloween parade and "trick or treats".) Cindy and Kimmi planned to arrive in the Quad Cities sometime Friday afternoon.

Cindy: Yeah…planned…

Shane: I planned on coming down to the Quad Cities early for two basic reasons. As those of you who have read these stories before already know, I depend on that darling of public mass transit, the Greyhound bus system, to get me to the QC just about every time we do a show. The major downside to that is that I am unable to get into town on the route that I have to take until very late in the evening, and most times the bus is running behind schedule on top of that. So, I decided to come in the evening before everybody else did so that I was already IN town when the rest of the Gang came in; that way, we would be able to spend a nice evening together in it's entirety without anybody having to worry about picking me up at the bus station or wondering how far behind my schedule was keeping me this time. Moreover, had I come down the next evening, I would have only really been able to spend little more than 24 hours with everyone before we all went our separate ways again on Sunday. I would have spent more time on the road than I would have spent actually hangin' least this way I felt like I was getting more advantage of my time off. By the way, it never bothered me a bit to be traveling on Halloween. The year before turned out to be a total "trick-or-treat" bust at my house, (I wonder if the fact that I live almost next-door to a funeral home has anything to do with that), so I was happy to be doing something that seemed more productive to me with the day. I got to my hotel room at about 10 P.M. that evening, quickly gave Cindy a call and jotted down Bonnie's phone number for in the morning, and finding that the hotel restaurant had already closed for the night, resigned myself to downing some chips from the vending machine and calling it a day.

Bonnie: Shane called me about 9:30 A.M. on Friday. My husband, Craig, had to work, (poor guy), so just Hannah and I went to the Radisson Hotel in Davenport to pick him up. Being from Bettendorf, I am not accustomed to the parking meters and garages, which are commonplace in downtown Davenport. Since half of the streets in the downtown area were under construction, finding an available route to the Radisson was a bit frustrating.

Shane: Road rage is a PFG family trait, ya know. Just ask Colleen! (Missed ya this time, my darling! Get a damn computer!) :-)

Cindy: Don’t go there, Shane!

Bonnie: I was overjoyed to find a parking place so close to the hotel. I specifically remember putting 40 cents in the meter before Hannah and I entered the hotel. Shane was waiting for us, (bright eyed and bushy tailed), in the lobby.

Shane: Suddenly, I feel the compulsion to store away some acorns or something....

Cindy: The nuts were gathering themselves.

Bonnie: It had been the first weekend in March (2002), (that's another story!), since we had last seen him, (and Kimmi as well). After greetings and salutations, (plus a quick trip up and down the glass elevator)...

Shane: Well...children are so easily amused. Hannah enjoyed it, too.

Bonnie: ...the three of us returned to my car to get Hannah's gloves. We planned to walk to an undisclosed destination, (Christmas is coming!), when I noticed something unusual stuck behind the windshield wipers on my car. It looked like a ticket.

Shane: It sure did, didn't it?

Bonnie: I grabbed it off the windshield and said to myself, "What the..."

Shane: "razza, frazzin' bleepity #@*$ing bleep is this?!" Made Ozzy Osbourne look like an amateur, did Bonnie.

Cindy: I, for one, am shocked!

Bonnie: as I read the fine (in) print. I looked up at the police officer that had just placed it there. She said, "I'm sorry, but you're parked the wrong way on a one way." I was dumfounded. (I know there's a comment coming here.)

Shane: [looks around] Huh, wha? You lookin' at me?

Bonnie: I said, "I had no idea! I put money in the meter and everything." She replied, "I know you did. I checked that. Otherwise, I would have to had given you a ticket for that, too." (Thank you for being so conscientious.) I apologized for my mistake and explained that with all the streets under repair, I was so happy to find a parking place that I did not realize it was a one-way street on which I had made the illegal right-hand turn.

Shane: Hoo boy, you'd fit right in with some Greyhound drivers I've had.

Kimmi: Funny...I just got my very first ticket that week as well! Well, parking ticket that is.

Bonnie: (I honestly did not even know then what street it was.) I added that I had only parked there for ten minutes while I went inside the Radisson to pick up a friend.

Shane: Sure! Go ahead and blame it on me!

Kimmi: That's a given!!

Cindy: My thoughts exactly!

Bonnie: The officer was very understanding. However, she said once the ticket is torn from the book, it's too late. (Hey, how about a little scotch tape? Would you try Elmer's glue? Duct tape?) She was kind enough to write down her boss' name and phone number for me to call on Monday-Monday. I asked, "How much is this ticket?"

Shane: "How much ya got, sweetie?"

Bonnie: She replied, "7A!" (I mean seven dollars.) It was a crystal clear, crisp fall morning, and I had the distinct feeling that David Jones was within a two-hour radius. Call me a daydream believer. Rather than walk to our next stop, I decided that I had better relocate my car to another parking place. We found another parking space close to the establishment. This time, I paid particular attention to park legally, and Shane fed the meter. We found some deals in this little out of the way place that nobody goes.

Shane: I thank you, and my winter reading list thanks you....

Bonnie: Then we were headed off to our next destination. Hannah really wanted to go to "Rocket Playground". Shane said it was okay with him to stop for a while. Its too bad Kimmi was not able to join us. Her name was written all over the playground equipment.

Kimmi: In red spray paint: KIMMAH!!

Cindy: The eternal child.

Shane: Yes it was! Apparently I need to call her if I ever happen to be looking for a "good time".

Kimmi: Dial 281-7668. Hey, baby, I can't wait!!

Bonnie: Hannah enjoyed showing "Uncle" Shane all of her playground skills including the big slide and the roller slide. It was approaching the noon hour so we reassembled into the car. On the way home, Hannah was on a "detour" recording. Apparently she saw a "Detour" sign and continued to comment about "Detour" signs. A few moments later, she said, "Mom, what's a detour?" Earlier, Shane had told me he was surprised to find Cindy at home when he called her. Poor dear had an acute case of Jones' Fever.

Shane: I was surprised because when I had called Cindy the night before, after I had gotten in at the hotel, she had told me that she still had planned to go in to work the next morning. After I called Bonnie that morning, I figured that I would call Cindy and leave a quick message on her machine, just to be goofy, (it comes naturally), and to say that I was looking forward to seeing her later that day. When Cindy herself answered I thought that I must have called her on her cell without knowing it and that I had interrupted her at work. That turned out not to be the case...we all must take a sick day every now and again!

Cindy: No fever. I had planned on having some work done to my car in the morning while I was at work. It has had a gassy smell to it. My mechanic called me at the last minute that he couldn’t do it so I took the day off to try to get it fixed by someone else.

Bonnie: I thought I would call her when we got home to see how she was feeling. When I called, Cindy said she was fine but her car was not. Due to a fuel injection leak, she was afraid to drive a long distance without first having it repaired. I offered to pick her up. Another phone call later, she agreed. Shane, Hannah and I ate grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. Shane said that he was "saving himself"...

Shane: ...and seriously, how many times are you apt to hear a male say that?!

Kimmi: I've yet to hear it!!

Cindy: Shane, there are only 4 words a male needs in his vocabulary….”Yes, dear!” and “I’m sorry!”…”Saving myself” would have to be explained and then they wouldn’t get it…even David and Davy ALWAYS gets it!."

Bonnie: ...for Lunardi's, (official Italian restaurant of the PFG). Our lunch discussion focused on Hannah informing Shane that he should get married. When Shane asked Hannah whom he should marry, Hannah replied, "Cindy!"

Shane: Well, it certainly would take our, um, "relationship" to the next level! I mean, I'm already the official zombie, (special thanks to a special group of fans out there--and you KNOW who YOU are); just as long as we stick to tradition and the father of the bride foots the bill! But talk about inbreeding....Kimmi is already my "sister". Would she have to call me "daddy" then?

Cindy: You are already my son! I think that would only be legal in some southern states!

Kimmi: Great!! Where's my allowance?!?! Fork it over, daddy!!

Bonnie: Shane was a good sport about playing with Hannah while I was making sandwiches and preparing to depart for Muscatine. (He might want to tell about the "Detour" game.)

Shane: Hannah was having a good time showing me all of her toys and books, but soon show and tell was over and it was time for recess. We played a curious little game of "tag" that consisted of Hannah chasing me around in circles through the downstairs of Bonnie's house. After a few minutes of that, she stopped me and said, "Now, let's take the detour!” and preceded to start running in the exact opposite direction. Nothing gets past that one!

Bonnie: At 1:30 P.M., (just as "Passions" started), Shane, Hannah and I headed for Muscatine to pick up Cindy. Hannah took her afternoon nap in the car. It's too bad that she's too little for Monkee business. She is such a good traveler. By 2:30 P.M., Cindy joined the Gang, and we were on the road again. Hannah remained a-snooze. We had been waiting for this occasion to get together for months. On our return trip to the Quad Cities, we collaborated our thoughts and feelings. It had been a while since we had seen each other and a lot had happened.

Shane: Something in your eyes that just won't let me forget you, something in your face that keeps me hanging around you. Something got a hold on me the day that I met you... Something's wrong with me...

Cindy: Correction….”with us!!!!”

Bonnie: As we approached the Radisson, my curiosity mounted. What exactly was the street I illegally parked on? I gave Cindy a synopsis of the sordid details and said, "I parked right there." It was Brady Street. Brady Street!

Shane: And not even a Marsha, Marsha, Marsha in sight!

Cindy: Now I am amazed! BRADY STREET! It’s a main artery through Davenport and clearly marked!!!! Everyone knows Brady Street is a one way!!!! 4 lanes!

Bonnie: There was even a nice little one-way arrow pointing north. (I went south.) North-South-East-West! Everybody in the Quad Cities knows Brady Street, (i.e. BIX 7 road race), goes north up Brady Street hill. I could hardly wait to tell Craig what I had done. Had there not been road construction blocking 2/3 of the street or had cars been coming up the hill or had David Jones not been in the Midwest, I would have remembered. However, there was no sign of an automobile on the street when I parked there.

Shane: excuses, excuses.

Bonnie: Fortunately, Shane had the insight to ask Cindy (prior to our arrival in Muscatine) to call the Radisson to let Kimmi know why nobody was hangin' round. Kimmi, (Cindy's daughter according to the Radisson), had just checked in.

Shane: not just according to the Radisson!

Cindy: No, Kimmi has been my daughter since day one! I always picked up strays as a child and it just carried over to Shane and Kimmi!

Kimmi: I get my dark hair and beautiful smile from her!! Seriously, no one ever questions it.

Cindy: Funny I get my dark hair from L’Oreal!

Kimmi and Shane    Photo by Cindy Bryant

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